Sunday, February 1, 2009

SHIT NEWS: Swayze is almost....Swayze

It has been reported that 80s/90s movie legend and iconic mullet-model Patrick Swayze has all but lost his battle against cancer. This is some sad shit. Aside from the fact that I have enjoyed the man's work on varying levels throughout his career, I've caught a handful of interviews with dude since he has been fighting the disease, and he comes across as a genuinely great person. Forget Dirty Dancing. Forget Ghost. Peep the below guide to essential Swayze viewing.

Red Dawn (1984)

Classic 80s Anti-Communist Pro-Firearm American action movie. Commie troops invade US soil and Swayze (Jed Eckert) and his boys (The Wolverines) grab their guns and represent. Super violent for it's time, super redneck. Classic. Allegedly about to be remade (read: legacy ruined) in a 'post 9/11' America (replace 'Commie' with 'A-Rab').

Road House (1989)

Possibly the greatest Swayze movie ever. This ridiculous yet always entertaining movie that features Swayze as a heroic nightclub bouncer known only as 'Dalton', saving a small town from a wealthy standover man who despite his age and stature is quite the brawler. This film is so violent. It's essentially end to end fighting, with occasional breaks for gratuitous nudity. Swayze rips a henchman's voice box out. This is one for the collection. Contains Very Frequent Violence, Course Language, High Level Sex Scenes & Extreme Mullet Swagger.

Donnie Darko (2001)

If you haven't seen this film we cannot be friends. You might be a big poof named Heez and struggle with suspending disbelief enough to enjoy it, or lack closure from the film's abmiguous ending and lack of explanation (Directors Cut helps with the latter) - or you might just agree with me about this film's place amoung the SciFi greats. In a supporting role, Swayze puts in the performance of his career as self-help seminar guru, Jim Cunningham. Unlike aforementioned roles, this one is essential viewing not for nostalgia or unintented humour - it's just fucking good. If you're behind the 8 ball on this go grab the directors cut. If you haven't seen the DC, it's worth it for the soundtrack tweaks, alternate scenes and the inclusion of excerpts from Roberta Sparrow's book at relevant points throughout the film.

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